Are You At Life's Crossroads?
Have you ever encountered an event in your life when you felt confused, lost or distraught?
Have you ever gone through a period in your life where you longed for something more?
Have you ever come to a point where you no longer believed in what you were doing?
Have you ever had a knowing that you are here or something more?
Have you ever had a loss that shattered everything you believe or woke you up from your sleep?
These are what I call - Life's Crossroads, or Life's T's as they feel like we hit a T in the road. We don't know how to proceed. We don't know where to go. There's no seeming way forward. And so we stop dead in our tracks. Or we try and retreat to where we came from. Or we veer off course wandering, lost and confused. Either way, we are no longer moving forward down the path of our lives.
What are Life’s T’s?
Transitions - those moments when one chapter of your life has ended, and yet, the next has not yet begun.
TESTS - those moments of adversity that test your body, your mind and your spirit.
TRAUMAS - those encounters with the ugliest side of humanity or the ugliness of life.
TRAGEDY - those dreadful collisions with loss, with suffering and with death.
Life's T's may be difficult to describe, but you know them when you are at them. They leave you lost, confused having no idea how to move forward. When they happen we have three reactions.
1. Fight. One reaction is to fight. We try to push, scrap or muscle our way across the road. We believe that if we fight hard enough, even if everything and everyone is telling us to stop, we will force our way.
2. Flight. Another reaction is to run from the crossroads. We scatter in any direction. It doesn't matter where we go. Anywhere is better than here. We tell ourselves a thousand reasons why that wasn't the direction we wanted to go anyways.
3. Freeze. Finally, our reaction might be to freeze. We stand there, paralyzed in our tracks. We put our lives on hold. We believe that we can wait it out. Somehow, the crossroads will resolve themselves.
None of these reactions work.
Why? Because they are reactions. They aren't conscious. They aren't sustainable. They aren't effective. We are not here to live lives of reaction. We aren't here to stand still, or go backwards or veer off our path. We are here to move forward, through the crossroads, and along our way.
With mindfulness, purpose and direction we can move through those crossroads. As we do, we grow stronger, clearer and wiser preparing us for the next crossroads and the next one after that.
This is what I call "The Way." It is both my personal philosophy and how I try to live my life, as well as the foundation for my coaching practice. I draw upon some of the great religions and various spiritual practices. I use psychology, Positive psychology and twenty years of counseling experience guiding people.
There is a way forward. You can get through the crossroads. You will grow more powerful in the process. I will help you find your way back onto your path. That is The Way.